The Signature of Jesus by Brennan ManningCHAPTER 7
Undoubtedly in each of our lives there were periods of intense fervor when we could almost touch the goodness of God. Bible studies, prayer meetings, retreats, and devotional times were precious securities to many of us. It was pleasant to think of God, a comfort to speak to him, a joy to be in his presence. Perhaps all this has changed. We may feel we have lost Christ and fear that he will never return. Now it is difficult to connect two thoughts about him. Prayer has become artificial. Words spoken to him ring hollow in our empty soul.
It is a comfort to know that this is a path that many have tracked before us. Moreover, it is reassuring to learn that the longed-for growth in faith is not far away. God’s love and mercy have not abandoned us. Clouds may shroud us in darkness, but above, the sun shines right. God’s mercy never fails. The Christian who surrenders in trust to this truth finds Jesus Christ in a new way. It marks the beginning of a deeper life of faith where joy and peace flourish even in the darkness, because they are rooted, not in superficial human feelings, but deep down in the dark certainly of faith that Jesus is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.
The very inability to feel his presence with our unstable emotions, or to appreciate his goodness with our feeble thoughts, becomes a help rather than a hindrance. Joy and sorrow may play havoc with our feelings, but beneath this shifting surface God dwells in the darkness. It is there that we go to meet him; it is there that we pray in peace, silent and attentive to the God whose love knows no shadow of change. It is there that we celebrate(!) the darkness in the quiet certainly of mature faith.
When we have hit bottom and are emptied of all we thought important to us, then we truly pray, truly become humble and detached, and live in the bright darkness of faith. In the midst of the emptying we know that God has not deserted us. He has merely removed the obstacles keeping us from a deeper union with him. Actually we are closer to God than ever before, although we are deprived of the consolations that we once associated with our spirituality. What we thought was communion with him was really a hindrance to that communion.
Yet the dark night is not the end—only the means to union with God. We have asked God for the gift of prayer, and he visits us with adversity to bring us to our knees. We have prayed for humility, and God levels us with humiliation. We cry out for an increase of faith, and God strips us of the reassurances that we had identified with faith.
Does growth in Christ follow automatically
No. Suffering alone does not produce a prayerful spirit. Humiliation alone does not foster humility. Desolation alone does not guarantee the increase of faith. We can still be wallowing in self-pity and rebellion, pride or apathy, and the last state will be worse than the first. We can eat humble pie until the bakery is bare and emerge with only tightfisted bitterness in our hands. One further crucial step in the process of ego-slaying remains.
The most characteristic feature of the humility of Jesus is his forgiveness and acceptance of others. By contrast our nonacceptance of others and lack of forgiveness keep us in a state of agitation and unrest. Our resentments reveal that the signature of Jesus still is not written on our lives. The surest sign of union with the crucified Christ is our forgiveness of those who have perpetrated injustices against us. Without acceptance and forgiveness the dark night will be only that. The bottom line will be a trouble heart."
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